Tag: Life’s Journey

9-11-2011

Things have been a little rough lately, but life doesn’t stop throwing you curve balls just because you change careers. Rather than focusing on the negatives though, which is easy to do, I’d rather tell you about the good things that have happened and what I hope will happen in the future. I have started reading Proverbs in an effort to read one chapter per day. I can say that I have done that so far and began reading a little ahead each day so that on the 11th I’m actually around 14.5. I didn’t realize there was so much business advice in Proverbs, or at least that is how I am viewing it in my current mindset. “A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest—and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man” says Proverbs 24:33-34. This view of doing nothing leading to poverty and being diligent leading to success and riches is repeated over and over in Proverbs. Another theme is righteousness and integrity. “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity,” says Proverbs 11:3. Be one man. Be a righteous man. Be a diligent man. And you will be rewarded for it on earth and in heaven – these are the themes I’m picking up from Proverbs. Solomon, who wrote most of them was very rich and successful, and very wise. Proverbs says to seek wisdom, listen to your parents (who I view as both the actual parents, a metaphor for our leaders, and our heavenly Father), and the word (God’s commandments). There have been times since I have been reading that I have been in situations where I will look upon another woman and think about her as a path to sheol or wanting to bait me with her honey and lead me to death. There have been times when I’ve been tempted to be a different man when I’m alone than when I am with others. And other times when I have been quick to anger. Filling my mind with these proverbs is like a hand on my shoulder throughout the day.

I don’t know exactly what to do or focus on in my business. I have somewhat condensed my two target customers to web design/social media management (Telablue) and computer repair/mobile phone support (Geek Hand), but have had no new customers with each yet. Thankfully, some customers have increased their use of me, but I’ll need more in order to continue along this path. The strange thing is if you asked me what I wanted to be doing (to make money) I wouldn’t have an answer. I am simply doing what has worked in the past. And from the client’s perspective, I haven’t really identified exactly what they are most frustrated with and what they are hiring me for (so that I can do more of this for them and others).

Three days ago I watched a documentary called Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead about a guy who does a juice fast for 60 days. I did it for 2 days (Thursday and Friday) and it was really gross. I lost some pounds and had a clear head, but it made me sort of sick of food (like get sick at the smell of food) so I stopped it. I’ve taken today to rest and think about things. Tomorrow is kind of a big day for me in small ways. I got out of my lease at my office in Tipton and the landlord lady (who locked me out after being late on rent) is letting me in to get my computer. It’s going to be really embarrassing. Things like that make me feel bad, but I guess I should be glad that I learned from the experience and am saving $600 on future rent. The weird thing is that part of the reason I leased it was to be able to use it during the Pork Festival, but that was the very time when I was locked out.

I’m sure you’ve heard about God opening and closing doors or using green lights and red lights. I’ve had what seems like several doors close or red lights to things in my life in the last month: My app developer didn’t want to work with me any more and sent my money back. There’s the office thing. The guy I was working with to start a seminar/training business stopped talking to me. I told my parents we couldn’t go to Missouri to see my grandma’s funeral after several unexpected expenses came up. Although I had two interviews with ExactTarget, they didn’t call me back. My $200+ a month blog, Nook Share, started paying out less than $10. Those are the door closings. The open doors: I wrote a book and published it on Amazon. I hired (I’m paying him with experience and food) an intern who I’m training to help me out and learn what I do, which is what Michael Hyatt talked about today (building a team). I attended a two-day blogging conference on a client’s dime. I found a BNI group to attend in Carmel this Thursday and a networking Meetup to attend in Carmel tomorrow. I attended a LinkingIndiana event in Indianapolis where I met several people. My intern passed out Geek Hand flyers at the Pork Festival and I got to ride in the parade with my daughter, who won the mini-4H princess contest.

If you put the door closes on a scale against the door openings you’d probably have a lot of lost income on the door closings and a bunch of hope on the door openings, but it is what it is for now. I’m still me – a smart guy with a lot of potential. I’m just trying to figure out how to transfer that into a form that other people can recognize.

Have a good week!

I started out in Kansas City on the east side of the Missouri where I grew till I was eight and in not so much a hurry
My wife had just turned six when I moved out to Indiana
Born and raised a Tiptonite she was a little bannana’s

When I was twelve I moved down to different piece of the American pie
And my wife’s dad moved up to his own real estate in the sky
We both it was rough and we had to adjust, but for her it was harder
She had lost her friend, her soulmate, her one and only father

For a while there it seemed like all my girlfriends were forty-five minutes away
And I was driving out on the road for over and hour and a half a day
Just to get the chance to have a dance with a philly from the Net
Never knowing that the girl this time was my wife whom I had met

11/27/09

When first we met in July of 2001 I was mowing grass for $7.00 an hour after having received a 50 cent raise for doing good work. A week earlier I had been hired on at Old National Bank after convincing the interviewer, Corey Jennings, that while I was not currently a fast keyer, I did prefer to use the 10-key and I could improve. I did improve and continued to earn $7.47 an hour keying. As my relationship with you progressed I realized I was falling in love with you. From the very first night I knew you, I knew that I had found my wife. Then I re-entered school for my first and only semester at Ball State after attending Kentucky Christian College for two years and spending one semester at Milligan College in Tennessee. By September of that year you had accepted my proposal for marriage after which you asked me to ask your mother for permission. I remember asking her at the bottom of the steps in what is now our house. She cried and said, “Yes.”

By October, the mowing season was coming to an end and I quit mowing. My boss at Clean Cut, Troy Harshman was so pleased with my work, he offered me $7.50 an hour to stay, but I felt I could not continue to work two jobs and go to school. However, by November I was offered a job cleaning a hotel so again I began working a second job, this time earning $5.50 an hour. That Thanksgiving was the first Thanksgiving I spent with your family and I remember showing up late after having cleaned people’s hotel rooms all morning. I continued to work at the hotel through Christmas, but when Old National moved to Indianapolis, I was promoted to Balance Controller, earning $10.25 an hour. I quit the hotel and transferred from Ball State to IUPUI. You were still attending Depauw University. I would visit you on the weekends and you would visit me some nights at work. One of my fondest memories is the weekend trip we took together to Terre Haute.

I was still at Old National in August of 2002 when we got married and I stayed at Old National through the birth of our first child, Magdalena in 2004 and our second child, Carmina in 2006. I graduated from IU in August of 2004 at which point I began working a second job with Neighborhood Geeks. I continued to earn raises at Old National until eventually choosing to go back to school in 2006 after reaching $13.50 an hour. In June of 2007 I decided to become Microsoft Certified and begin a career in the IT field, both of which I accomplished in four months. Although I worked temporarily at two call centers, I was in school and working for my parents landscaping business to make ends meet until October of 2007 when I began working for AllThingsIT for $20 an hour. That same month I started my own business to help people market their services online, which provided a steady source of income in 2009. In June of 2008 I left AllThingsIT to begin working for First Merchants Corporation for $20 an hour.

When you told me about the finances this past summer, I didn’t get mad. I didn’t leave you. I stuck with you. I worked harder, but the harder I worked, the less time I had to spend with you. And the harder I worked, the more angry I got when things like the laundry didn’t get done. When I found out what you had been doing at the turn of this month I was slow to anger and quick to forgive, but when I saw your lack of a contrite heart and a failure to reconcile with me, I found it unbearable to be around you. I kept bringing up the past and you retaliated with bringing up more of my past. All of a sudden I was someone who had been mean to you our entire marriage, I was someone who was always trying to leave. All of a sudden I was someone who never wanted to be with you. This is the same guy who has worked two jobs for you and our family for 8 years. This is the same guy who has married you twice, who swore he would take care of you no matter what. Yes, I left, but I came back. I was willing to work things out and I still am. I love you. End of story.

The living room glowed with excitement. They had bought bagels and cream cheese. It was a historic moment.

Two weeks ago I had walked into my job, poured a cup of coffee, and been escorted out the door. Now I’m sitting on a couch.

As Matt went around the room he mentioned each of the team members. Jennifer and Joy were sales. Michael was outreach and product development. Marcella was wholesale. Madeline was Marketing. Madeleine was finance. Joseph was logistics. And I was IT.

“If you’ll have me!” I said, immediately embarrassing myself. Why couldn’t I keep my mouth shut? Turns out it didn’t matter.

I worked there full-time 6 weeks while I continued to look for another job. Eventually the job ended and I was still looking.

But the bagels were good.

Winter is Coming

When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command the locust to devour the land, or send pestilence among my people, if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land. -2 Chronicles 7:13-14

2013 was a time of contraction, but I failed to grow in 2014. I was in the summer of my life, but winter was coming. This is a story of what I learned and how I was redeemed in 2014.

Highlights of the Year

• Attended the annual New Year’s Day Game Day at Jason’s house with Cullen and friends.
• In February I began going swimming at the YMCA in Fishers.
• One of my clients, Skinny Coconut Oil, had their first $10,000 day in March.
• My youngest daughter, Amalia, started walking in April. By December she was getting her molars in.
• I joined Launch Fishers and went to King’s Island in May.
• In June, Kevin completed soccer at White River Christian Church and he created KevinTheRockStar.com.
• I attended MixWest in July, the Global Leadership Conference in August, and the Storyline Conference in October.
• My wife made Silver in her Young Living essential oil business in November.
• I started a new job at GoServicePro on December 1.

In January my family and I got the flu. This time of year is normally populated with client requests for web changes, but I ended up doing a lot of IT work instead. One client upgraded 5 Windows XP computers to Windows 7 to avoid the end of Windows XP Support in April of 2014. I renewed my contract with the Han Institute and increased my contract with Indianapolis Dentistry and Skinny and Company.

In February, Jason, Justin, and I started a book club and corresponding podcast. I started learning more about web automation systems from IFTTT and Zapier, which I used to help automate marketing at Skinny and Company. This allowed me to do a presentation on the topic at the Indianapolis Quantified Self Meetup and planted the seed for a possible future podcast about information systems. Unfortunately the podcast was short lived and did not continue.

In March my family and I started playing Minecraft together. It helped my wife and I get to know our kids better because we could see how they interacted with their friends and the “world” through Minecraft. But the kids were learning too. They were learning about math, how to solve problems, and how to work with other people. There were also business lessons like, ‘you have to work for something of value’.

In April I started learning about making online courses and used Learning Sets as the project name, but after Jason and I made our first online course on Saturday, April 12, Jason convinced me to name the project Bold Bros instead. I purchased a membership to Launch Fishers and we had our first meeting there on May 3. Launch Fishers is a coworking facility that gave me a place to work outside of home. With the kids taking over more of the computers at home, it was easier to work in an office building.

In May, side work began increasing. My wife’s business selling essential oils was taking more of my time and I still had client work outside of my day job at Worksmart. I decided to take a break and so Jason and I took a day off to go to King’s Island like we used to do when we were in high school. The park seemed much smaller now and the rides left us feeling old. We left early in the afternoon for home, exhausted. Between playing video games and riding roller coasters, I was starting to regress in life.

In June I worked less on Bold Bros. and began working more on my wife’s business with her. Kevin was in soccer and there was grass to be mowed. I started going to Launch Fishers after church on Sundays a few times I took Kevin. He wanted to create his own website called “Kevin the Rock Star”. Kevin and I were also working the Tipton Farmers Market selling bread on Saturdays. I tried to use it as an opportunity to teach him about sales and business. This was the summer before the fall, but I didn’t know it yet.

In July instead of learning new SQL skills, working on a business, or investing in time with my kids, I began playing Civilization V with my co-worker and friend from Worksmart, Andy Rose. In the hundreds of hours of play that month, I only won 3 times: twice a Scientific Victory and once a Domination Victory. I was determined to do better. By the end of the month Worksmart put me in charge of social media right before I headed off to Mixwest, a local conference covering Marketing, Technology, and Design.

When I came back from the conference I was laid off from my ob at Worksmart, but that same day I got invited to attend the Global Leadership Conference in Indianapolis for free. This was something I would not have been able to do if I still had a day job so I was happy to go. Meanwhile, I began working full time temporarily at Skinny and Company helping their digital marketing team update their website and push forward on marketing projects. All the while I was still applying for jobs and going to interviews.

In September I helped Jason and Justin launch Sycamore Creative. Jason and I traveled down to Justin’s house in Kentucky with an aspiring film producer, Chris. I was his production assistant. After the video shoot, we all drove to Madison, Indiana to eat at Harry’s Stone Grill. The Colts were playing their first game so we asked if we could sit in a room with a TV. They cleaned a room with TVs just for us. At the end of September, Skinny and Company laid me off from full-time temporary work. I was out of a job again.

In October I continued applying for jobs, had several interviews, but no job offers. Things were starting to look bleak. I still had client work to do, which I did, but it wasn’t what I was making before and so I was starting to run a monthly deficit. I began reaching out to dentists for new client work and began actively reaching out to network with others. At the end of the month I attended the Storyline Conference in Chicago with my friend, Jason. That’s when I realized that playing games instead of learning skills was a mistake.

In November I started rapid skill-building to help my job-hunting efforts. I was learning JavaScript, SQL, Business Analysis, Regular Expressions (RegEx), and XML. I started wishing I had spent some of the time I spent playing Civilization in July or Minecraft in March upgrading my skills instead. While Warren Buffet does play Bridge every night, he didn’t start out that way. I was worth exactly how much my bank account said it had, so I had to work on improving my skills. The winter was starting to get cold.

On December 1 I started a new full-time job at GoServicePro in Indianapolis. It was the answer to a lot of prayer – from me and others who had been praying for me. I am thankful for the friends and family who helped give me part-time work and for all of the lessons I learned. The biggest lesson I learned this year was that God is in control and that it was necessary to obey his commandments. In 2014 winter started early for me, but I’m hopeful for an early spring in 2015 as I continue to follow God and work on my skills.

When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the Lord your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. He led you through the vast and dreadful wilderness, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions. He brought you water out of hard rock. He gave you manna to eat in the wilderness, something your ancestors had never known, to humble and test you so that in the end it might go well with you. You may say to yourself, “My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.” But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today. If you ever forget the Lord your God and follow other gods and worship and bow down to them, I testify against you today that you will surely be destroyed. Like the nations the Lord destroyed before you, so you will be destroyed for not obeying the Lord your God. -Deuteronomy 8:10-20

It was unusual for only two of us to be at the lodge at any one time, and strictly speaking, it was not allowed, but that’s the predicament Denise and I found ourselves in that weekend.

The year was 1999 and gas was high at $2 a gallon. We were both working at Michiana Christian Summer camp and while I lived there full time, she was only there during the day.

I worked in maintenance, which meant that I not only had to clean the cafeteria/gym and bathrooms 3 times a day, I had to fix whatever broke, and do all of the landscaping work.

Denise worked in the office on a computer. It was air conditioned. I would see her when I went into the office to take out the trash and vacuum the carpet. She was always nice to see.

We would all eat together in the staff area of the cafeteria. Some days I’d pour my water on her head just for fun. It was fun. At night she’d run the concession stand near the pool.

That Saturday morning I asked her if she wanted to go to the beach. To my surprise, she said, “Yes”. We drove up from Niles to St. Joseph, Michigan where US 31 ends, and Lake Michigan begins.

There was a bend in the road near Berrien Spring where Denise made a cross sign on her chest as we passed. Her friend had died there the year before. She wanted to stop to test drive a new vehicle.

I helped her look at the SUV she had been eyeing and then we continued on to Silver Beach. When we got there I realized I didn’t have any swimming trunks so we went to a shop there on the beach.

I picked out a green pair of swimming trunks and asked Denise what she thought. She didn’t care. I asked her if she was going to swim. She was not. She sat on the beach while I plunged into the water.

On the way back to the car a train came. I asked her if I ran to get on the train if she would go with me. She said she would. I didn’t run.

We stopped at McDonalds on the way back to camp, but she wouldn’t let me buy her lunch. “It wasn’t a date,” she said. And I knew that.

After making fun of his mom (like kids in 6th grade do) he stood up, pushed me, and we both ended up in the principal’s office. That summer Joey Harless stole his dad’s car, wrecked it, and killed himself with his dad’s gun.

My sophomore year of high school Molly Gibson dug her fingers into my arm after she found me looking at the brush she’d left outside the pool locker room. Driving home one night our senior year she was hit by another car and died.

On August 11th, 2011, I took this picture of my daughter Magdalena in front of the Hardee’s in Tipton that had been there 20 years:

A month later, it was torn down and a Casey’s General Store was being built there. This is what it looked like in December of 2011 (with Carmina and Samuel):

That same day (August 11, 2011) I took this picture of a window in a home in Tipton:

By April 21, 2012 it looked like this:

On January 7th, 2012, I took this picture of my son, Samuel in front of a building at the corner of Main and Dearborn in Tipton, IN:

The next month (February) the building was demolished:

In the summer of 2012 I walked through some woods behind Starbucks on Old Meridian in Carmel by Meijer:

The next time I drive by, bulldozers have tore everything down to bare ground and they were putting in a new apartment complex.

One night when I was running the paper route in 2010 I took a picture of an old farm house in the middle of a corn field. The next morning (around 3 AM) a semi-tractor trailer had wrecked right in front of the old house – police cars were everywhere.

Last fall (2013) I was driving on 96th Street in Indianapolis across from HH Gregg headquarters and thought, “I should take a picture of that scenic, tree covered drive,” but I didn’t stop. The next time I drove by, the trees had been bulldozed to put in a parking lot.

I learned from my mistake. When I saw this house along US 31 in Westfield I pulled over and took this picture.

The next time I drove by it was gone.

I walk on a strip of grass in Greenfield, Indiana for the first time, the next month they pave over it with a brand new sidewalk. I update a customer’s website copyright date as a courtesy, only to find out hours later they are closing their business. I think of a coworker I haven’t thought of in a while and email my boss about him – he gets fired hours later.

None of these things are related. Things change. People die. Old buildings get torn down. Businesses close and people get fired. That’s life. Sometimes you’re there to document it one last time before it goes. Sometimes you get to have a visceral interaction with someone before they go so you remember them longer. I still think about Joey and Molly sometimes.

I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good ole’ days before you’ve actually left them.” -Andy Bernard

Epilogue

Being that Joey Harless died before the World Wide Web (<1993) and that he was a minor at the time, I couldn't find any information about him online, but you can donate to Molly Gibson's memorial, Pooh Bears for Molly. It still makes me sad to this day. Whenever I have a life event I think about Molly. At first it was the senior prom. Then it was graduation. Then it was going to college. Then getting married, graduating college, and having children. She is missed and still thought of. As the father of a daughter getting ready to be Joey’s age I can’t imagine losing her and I can’t imagine what it would be like for his parents – or Molly’s parents – and I hope I never have to find out. All we can do is love the people we’re with while we’re with them and pray for the best.

Sometimes I worry about people. There was a guy who went straight into the military from high school. I think about him every now and then and wonder if he’s okay. Today I looked him on Facebook. He’s got 4 kids and he looks like he’s doing okay. Now I don’t have to worry about him anymore.

Sometimes I think about how much time I spent making movies, music, and writing stories when I was younger and how little I do that now. I literally have a video camera in my pocket and I never make movies. What was different about my life then vs. my life now? I’m not busier. I’m less busy now.

Sometimes I wonder why I wasn’t friends with more people who were geographically close to me growing up. There were two girls who lived relatively close to me, but their houses were on the other side of the highway and it was hard to get to. How can I be friends with the neighbors I have now?

Sometimes I wonder what impact I’m having on the world and how I’ll be remembered by my children when I’m gone. I wonder how they’ll think of me and whether or not they’ll remember me or only remember the pictures they took of me and the words I wrote on my blog. I’m glad they took pictures of me and read my blog.

Sometimes someone you thought was no longer your friend reaches out to you to reconnect and sometimes someone you thought would always be there leaves your side. These things happen more often than they told you it would. But what they also told you was that it will be okay. And it will.