Category: Writing

If you’ve ever found yourself in a sticky situation where both choices are hard, I can relate.

This can happen both with emotional choices, financial choices, but also with physical objects.

I once worked for a furniture store. One day while delivering a couch I found my head stuck between the bottom of the couch and the top of a stair. I thought, “This would make a good story someday.”

Once when I was working as a maintenance man at a summer camp I found myself with my head between the toilet and the floor. I thought to myself, “I’ve got to tell my friends about this when I get back.”

I have lots of stories to tell because I’ve been in a lot of weird places and had to make a lot of hard choices.

Do I wish I could have an easy life? Yes. Does an easy life help you grow? Maybe not.

I recently read Malcolm Gladwell’s David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants, which tells stories about people who have grown up or encountered hard conditions that have helped them in life.

One question Gladwell asks is, ‘Would you want your child to grow up with this hardship if you knew it makes them better off?’ He knows the answer is “no”, but the book is about how good can come from bad.

I have seen this in my own life, which hasn’t been all that hard, but I have had some hard times. It is through difficulty that we learn and grow and change. And it makes the good times all the sweeter.

It was an unusually warm December night in 1998. It was our first semester at Kentucky Christian College and a couple friends from high school had come to visit.

After dinner, in the pitch of darkness, we all piled into my white, 1984 Caprice Classic, and drove out to Grayson Lake, which was a place we went to hang out often.

As we drove through Grayson, Bill Withers’ “Lean on Me” came on the radio (we didn’t have Spotify back then) and immediately everyone began to sing along.

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there’s always tomorrow

It was one of those serendipitous moments you knew that was special, but you couldn’t hold onto. I tried as hard as I could to enjoy it while it lasted, knowing it would be over soon. Update on 9/4/2019: I had a similar feeling in May of 2017 when I went out for an evening in La Crosse with Jason and Ryan.

Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on

One of the girls leaned her head on my shoulder as she sang. I would later lose touch with her within a year despite connecting on Facebook and regularly seeing her brother.

Please swallow your pride
If I have faith you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you won’t let show

I didn’t have a camera in my pocket, but I did have a VHS camcorder. We didn’t have YouTube then, but I later copied the tapes to DVD. I was a YouTuber before it was cool.

You just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you’ll understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Sometimes friends we have are only with us for a time, like seasons. Despite being connected on Facebook, people can still drift out of our lives. It’s up to us to make new friends.

9-11-2011

Things have been a little rough lately, but life doesn’t stop throwing you curve balls just because you change careers. Rather than focusing on the negatives though, which is easy to do, I’d rather tell you about the good things that have happened and what I hope will happen in the future. I have started reading Proverbs in an effort to read one chapter per day. I can say that I have done that so far and began reading a little ahead each day so that on the 11th I’m actually around 14.5. I didn’t realize there was so much business advice in Proverbs, or at least that is how I am viewing it in my current mindset. “A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest—and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man” says Proverbs 24:33-34. This view of doing nothing leading to poverty and being diligent leading to success and riches is repeated over and over in Proverbs. Another theme is righteousness and integrity. “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity,” says Proverbs 11:3. Be one man. Be a righteous man. Be a diligent man. And you will be rewarded for it on earth and in heaven – these are the themes I’m picking up from Proverbs. Solomon, who wrote most of them was very rich and successful, and very wise. Proverbs says to seek wisdom, listen to your parents (who I view as both the actual parents, a metaphor for our leaders, and our heavenly Father), and the word (God’s commandments). There have been times since I have been reading that I have been in situations where I will look upon another woman and think about her as a path to sheol or wanting to bait me with her honey and lead me to death. There have been times when I’ve been tempted to be a different man when I’m alone than when I am with others. And other times when I have been quick to anger. Filling my mind with these proverbs is like a hand on my shoulder throughout the day.

I don’t know exactly what to do or focus on in my business. I have somewhat condensed my two target customers to web design/social media management (Telablue) and computer repair/mobile phone support (Geek Hand), but have had no new customers with each yet. Thankfully, some customers have increased their use of me, but I’ll need more in order to continue along this path. The strange thing is if you asked me what I wanted to be doing (to make money) I wouldn’t have an answer. I am simply doing what has worked in the past. And from the client’s perspective, I haven’t really identified exactly what they are most frustrated with and what they are hiring me for (so that I can do more of this for them and others).

Three days ago I watched a documentary called Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead about a guy who does a juice fast for 60 days. I did it for 2 days (Thursday and Friday) and it was really gross. I lost some pounds and had a clear head, but it made me sort of sick of food (like get sick at the smell of food) so I stopped it. I’ve taken today to rest and think about things. Tomorrow is kind of a big day for me in small ways. I got out of my lease at my office in Tipton and the landlord lady (who locked me out after being late on rent) is letting me in to get my computer. It’s going to be really embarrassing. Things like that make me feel bad, but I guess I should be glad that I learned from the experience and am saving $600 on future rent. The weird thing is that part of the reason I leased it was to be able to use it during the Pork Festival, but that was the very time when I was locked out.

I’m sure you’ve heard about God opening and closing doors or using green lights and red lights. I’ve had what seems like several doors close or red lights to things in my life in the last month: My app developer didn’t want to work with me any more and sent my money back. There’s the office thing. The guy I was working with to start a seminar/training business stopped talking to me. I told my parents we couldn’t go to Missouri to see my grandma’s funeral after several unexpected expenses came up. Although I had two interviews with ExactTarget, they didn’t call me back. My $200+ a month blog, Nook Share, started paying out less than $10. Those are the door closings. The open doors: I wrote a book and published it on Amazon. I hired (I’m paying him with experience and food) an intern who I’m training to help me out and learn what I do, which is what Michael Hyatt talked about today (building a team). I attended a two-day blogging conference on a client’s dime. I found a BNI group to attend in Carmel this Thursday and a networking Meetup to attend in Carmel tomorrow. I attended a LinkingIndiana event in Indianapolis where I met several people. My intern passed out Geek Hand flyers at the Pork Festival and I got to ride in the parade with my daughter, who won the mini-4H princess contest.

If you put the door closes on a scale against the door openings you’d probably have a lot of lost income on the door closings and a bunch of hope on the door openings, but it is what it is for now. I’m still me – a smart guy with a lot of potential. I’m just trying to figure out how to transfer that into a form that other people can recognize.

Have a good week!

I started out in Kansas City on the east side of the Missouri where I grew till I was eight and in not so much a hurry
My wife had just turned six when I moved out to Indiana
Born and raised a Tiptonite she was a little bannana’s

When I was twelve I moved down to different piece of the American pie
And my wife’s dad moved up to his own real estate in the sky
We both it was rough and we had to adjust, but for her it was harder
She had lost her friend, her soulmate, her one and only father

For a while there it seemed like all my girlfriends were forty-five minutes away
And I was driving out on the road for over and hour and a half a day
Just to get the chance to have a dance with a philly from the Net
Never knowing that the girl this time was my wife whom I had met

11/27/09

When first we met in July of 2001 I was mowing grass for $7.00 an hour after having received a 50 cent raise for doing good work. A week earlier I had been hired on at Old National Bank after convincing the interviewer, Corey Jennings, that while I was not currently a fast keyer, I did prefer to use the 10-key and I could improve. I did improve and continued to earn $7.47 an hour keying. As my relationship with you progressed I realized I was falling in love with you. From the very first night I knew you, I knew that I had found my wife. Then I re-entered school for my first and only semester at Ball State after attending Kentucky Christian College for two years and spending one semester at Milligan College in Tennessee. By September of that year you had accepted my proposal for marriage after which you asked me to ask your mother for permission. I remember asking her at the bottom of the steps in what is now our house. She cried and said, “Yes.”

By October, the mowing season was coming to an end and I quit mowing. My boss at Clean Cut, Troy Harshman was so pleased with my work, he offered me $7.50 an hour to stay, but I felt I could not continue to work two jobs and go to school. However, by November I was offered a job cleaning a hotel so again I began working a second job, this time earning $5.50 an hour. That Thanksgiving was the first Thanksgiving I spent with your family and I remember showing up late after having cleaned people’s hotel rooms all morning. I continued to work at the hotel through Christmas, but when Old National moved to Indianapolis, I was promoted to Balance Controller, earning $10.25 an hour. I quit the hotel and transferred from Ball State to IUPUI. You were still attending Depauw University. I would visit you on the weekends and you would visit me some nights at work. One of my fondest memories is the weekend trip we took together to Terre Haute.

I was still at Old National in August of 2002 when we got married and I stayed at Old National through the birth of our first child, Magdalena in 2004 and our second child, Carmina in 2006. I graduated from IU in August of 2004 at which point I began working a second job with Neighborhood Geeks. I continued to earn raises at Old National until eventually choosing to go back to school in 2006 after reaching $13.50 an hour. In June of 2007 I decided to become Microsoft Certified and begin a career in the IT field, both of which I accomplished in four months. Although I worked temporarily at two call centers, I was in school and working for my parents landscaping business to make ends meet until October of 2007 when I began working for AllThingsIT for $20 an hour. That same month I started my own business to help people market their services online, which provided a steady source of income in 2009. In June of 2008 I left AllThingsIT to begin working for First Merchants Corporation for $20 an hour.

When you told me about the finances this past summer, I didn’t get mad. I didn’t leave you. I stuck with you. I worked harder, but the harder I worked, the less time I had to spend with you. And the harder I worked, the more angry I got when things like the laundry didn’t get done. When I found out what you had been doing at the turn of this month I was slow to anger and quick to forgive, but when I saw your lack of a contrite heart and a failure to reconcile with me, I found it unbearable to be around you. I kept bringing up the past and you retaliated with bringing up more of my past. All of a sudden I was someone who had been mean to you our entire marriage, I was someone who was always trying to leave. All of a sudden I was someone who never wanted to be with you. This is the same guy who has worked two jobs for you and our family for 8 years. This is the same guy who has married you twice, who swore he would take care of you no matter what. Yes, I left, but I came back. I was willing to work things out and I still am. I love you. End of story.

The living room glowed with excitement. They had bought bagels and cream cheese. It was a historic moment.

Two weeks ago I had walked into my job, poured a cup of coffee, and been escorted out the door. Now I’m sitting on a couch.

As Matt went around the room he mentioned each of the team members. Jennifer and Joy were sales. Michael was outreach and product development. Marcella was wholesale. Madeline was Marketing. Madeleine was finance. Joseph was logistics. And I was IT.

“If you’ll have me!” I said, immediately embarrassing myself. Why couldn’t I keep my mouth shut? Turns out it didn’t matter.

I worked there full-time 6 weeks while I continued to look for another job. Eventually the job ended and I was still looking.

But the bagels were good.

Winter is Coming

When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command the locust to devour the land, or send pestilence among my people, if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land. -2 Chronicles 7:13-14

2013 was a time of contraction, but I failed to grow in 2014. I was in the summer of my life, but winter was coming. This is a story of what I learned and how I was redeemed in 2014.

Highlights of the Year

• Attended the annual New Year’s Day Game Day at Jason’s house with Cullen and friends.
• In February I began going swimming at the YMCA in Fishers.
• One of my clients, Skinny Coconut Oil, had their first $10,000 day in March.
• My youngest daughter, Amalia, started walking in April. By December she was getting her molars in.
• I joined Launch Fishers and went to King’s Island in May.
• In June, Kevin completed soccer at White River Christian Church and he created KevinTheRockStar.com.
• I attended MixWest in July, the Global Leadership Conference in August, and the Storyline Conference in October.
• My wife made Silver in her Young Living essential oil business in November.
• I started a new job at GoServicePro on December 1.

In January my family and I got the flu. This time of year is normally populated with client requests for web changes, but I ended up doing a lot of IT work instead. One client upgraded 5 Windows XP computers to Windows 7 to avoid the end of Windows XP Support in April of 2014. I renewed my contract with the Han Institute and increased my contract with Indianapolis Dentistry and Skinny and Company.

In February, Jason, Justin, and I started a book club and corresponding podcast. I started learning more about web automation systems from IFTTT and Zapier, which I used to help automate marketing at Skinny and Company. This allowed me to do a presentation on the topic at the Indianapolis Quantified Self Meetup and planted the seed for a possible future podcast about information systems. Unfortunately the podcast was short lived and did not continue.

In March my family and I started playing Minecraft together. It helped my wife and I get to know our kids better because we could see how they interacted with their friends and the “world” through Minecraft. But the kids were learning too. They were learning about math, how to solve problems, and how to work with other people. There were also business lessons like, ‘you have to work for something of value’.

In April I started learning about making online courses and used Learning Sets as the project name, but after Jason and I made our first online course on Saturday, April 12, Jason convinced me to name the project Bold Bros instead. I purchased a membership to Launch Fishers and we had our first meeting there on May 3. Launch Fishers is a coworking facility that gave me a place to work outside of home. With the kids taking over more of the computers at home, it was easier to work in an office building.

In May, side work began increasing. My wife’s business selling essential oils was taking more of my time and I still had client work outside of my day job at Worksmart. I decided to take a break and so Jason and I took a day off to go to King’s Island like we used to do when we were in high school. The park seemed much smaller now and the rides left us feeling old. We left early in the afternoon for home, exhausted. Between playing video games and riding roller coasters, I was starting to regress in life.

In June I worked less on Bold Bros. and began working more on my wife’s business with her. Kevin was in soccer and there was grass to be mowed. I started going to Launch Fishers after church on Sundays a few times I took Kevin. He wanted to create his own website called “Kevin the Rock Star”. Kevin and I were also working the Tipton Farmers Market selling bread on Saturdays. I tried to use it as an opportunity to teach him about sales and business. This was the summer before the fall, but I didn’t know it yet.

In July instead of learning new SQL skills, working on a business, or investing in time with my kids, I began playing Civilization V with my co-worker and friend from Worksmart, Andy Rose. In the hundreds of hours of play that month, I only won 3 times: twice a Scientific Victory and once a Domination Victory. I was determined to do better. By the end of the month Worksmart put me in charge of social media right before I headed off to Mixwest, a local conference covering Marketing, Technology, and Design.

When I came back from the conference I was laid off from my ob at Worksmart, but that same day I got invited to attend the Global Leadership Conference in Indianapolis for free. This was something I would not have been able to do if I still had a day job so I was happy to go. Meanwhile, I began working full time temporarily at Skinny and Company helping their digital marketing team update their website and push forward on marketing projects. All the while I was still applying for jobs and going to interviews.

In September I helped Jason and Justin launch Sycamore Creative. Jason and I traveled down to Justin’s house in Kentucky with an aspiring film producer, Chris. I was his production assistant. After the video shoot, we all drove to Madison, Indiana to eat at Harry’s Stone Grill. The Colts were playing their first game so we asked if we could sit in a room with a TV. They cleaned a room with TVs just for us. At the end of September, Skinny and Company laid me off from full-time temporary work. I was out of a job again.

In October I continued applying for jobs, had several interviews, but no job offers. Things were starting to look bleak. I still had client work to do, which I did, but it wasn’t what I was making before and so I was starting to run a monthly deficit. I began reaching out to dentists for new client work and began actively reaching out to network with others. At the end of the month I attended the Storyline Conference in Chicago with my friend, Jason. That’s when I realized that playing games instead of learning skills was a mistake.

In November I started rapid skill-building to help my job-hunting efforts. I was learning JavaScript, SQL, Business Analysis, Regular Expressions (RegEx), and XML. I started wishing I had spent some of the time I spent playing Civilization in July or Minecraft in March upgrading my skills instead. While Warren Buffet does play Bridge every night, he didn’t start out that way. I was worth exactly how much my bank account said it had, so I had to work on improving my skills. The winter was starting to get cold.

On December 1 I started a new full-time job at GoServicePro in Indianapolis. It was the answer to a lot of prayer – from me and others who had been praying for me. I am thankful for the friends and family who helped give me part-time work and for all of the lessons I learned. The biggest lesson I learned this year was that God is in control and that it was necessary to obey his commandments. In 2014 winter started early for me, but I’m hopeful for an early spring in 2015 as I continue to follow God and work on my skills.

When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the Lord your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. He led you through the vast and dreadful wilderness, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions. He brought you water out of hard rock. He gave you manna to eat in the wilderness, something your ancestors had never known, to humble and test you so that in the end it might go well with you. You may say to yourself, “My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.” But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today. If you ever forget the Lord your God and follow other gods and worship and bow down to them, I testify against you today that you will surely be destroyed. Like the nations the Lord destroyed before you, so you will be destroyed for not obeying the Lord your God. -Deuteronomy 8:10-20