Erich Stauffer

Tag: Success

  • Authority, Winning, and the Cost of Staying Adjacent

    This morning clarified something I’ve been circling for years but never named plainly: I have optimized for system impact, not personal authority.

    I’m very good at building, fixing, and stabilizing systems. I improve organizations, help leaders think more clearly, and quietly make things work. But I’ve done this while standing adjacent to power instead of occupying it:

    • Advisor instead of owner
    • Architect instead of authority
    • Reliable #2 energy instead of explicit responsibility with upside

    That pattern used to make sense, but it is no longer congruent with who I am.

    Earlier in life, staying adjacent gave me flexibility, safety, and moral insulation. I could contribute without exposure. I could help without risking visible failure. I could preserve an identity built around service, intelligence, and restraint. It worked—until it didn’t.

    What’s changed is not my capacity, but the gap between who I am and how I’m positioned. That gap is now emotionally expensive. It shows up as frustration, quiet resentment, and the sense that I’m under-leveraged. At this stage, capability without outcomes doesn’t read as humility anymore—it reads as incongruence.

    The hardest realization is that not winning has been an emotional strategy. Losing—or at least not fully claiming victory—kept me morally clean and relationally safe. But the cost was real: borrowed authority, capped upside, and leadership that I donate instead of own.

    What once looked virtuous is now avoidance wearing a service costume.

    Here’s the reframe that landed hardest for me: for someone like me, winning is load-bearing.

    When capable people refuse authority, less capable systems stay in charge and entropy increases. Responsibility without power becomes the norm.

    Winning, rightly defined, isn’t dominance or ego—it’s stewardship. It’s aligning authority with responsibility so systems actually stabilize (instead of limping along).

    This internal shift then let me connect directly to recent geographic and social friction. A regional analysis made it obvious to me that I’m trying to regulate myself in environments that don’t reward execution or ownership. La Crosse and similar Driftless towns prioritize values, relationships, and moral signaling over outcomes. That’s not wrong—but it’s costly for someone wired to build, ship, and take responsibility.

    Madison and Rochester stand out not because they’re glamorous, but because there competence carries weight. Execution is expected. Outcomes matter. Accountability is normal. The insight isn’t “I need to move tomorrow,” but that I need periodic immersion in consequence-dense environments to recalibrate my nervous system and expectations. Without that, resentment builds and clarity erodes.

    The through-line is uncomfortable but clean: this isn’t a motivation problem. It’s an identity lag. I was still operating with rules designed for an earlier season—rules that prioritize safety and flexibility—while my calling now requires ownership, visibility, and measurable outcomes.

    At this point, refusing to win isn’t neutral. It quietly undermines authority, credibility, and self-trust. Winning isn’t about ego anymore. It’s about accepting stewardship of the systems I’m already capable of carrying.

  • The Douglas Accords

    The Douglas Accords

    Recently, I asked ChatGPT to do something different.

    I didn’t want tips or comfort. I didn’t want affirmation. I wanted confrontation. So I gave it a prompt:

    “Act like a no-fluff transformational coach. Help me get brutally clear about who the best version of me really is—not some fantasy, but the grounded, embodied version of me that shows up in all areas of life with purpose and power. Ask me these questions one at a time. Press me. Challenge my excuses. Hold up the mirror. I want clarity, not comfort.”

    And it did.

    What followed was not a back-and-forth. It was a mirror being held up to my face and a fire being lit under my feet.

    The process began with relationships. I told ChatGPT I wanted to live shame-free, confident, self-assured, and intentional in my romantic life, my family, and my friendships. But that wasn’t enough. It pressed:

    “What does that look like? What does the movie scene look like?”

    So I described it:

    • I tell my partner, “That was a long time ago—I don’t do that anymore. I’m focused on the future.”
    • When family crosses a boundary, I say, “Thank you, but I don’t accept that. I know who I am.”
    • When a friend repeats the same cycle, I say, “This is what you want. This is what you’ve practiced. This is what you got.”

    That was just the start.

    Then we moved into finances.

    I told it I believed money flows to me because I provide value. I budget. I plan. I build systems and income streams. I’m not just hustling—I’m stewarding.

    But again, it pressed:

    “What are the receipts? What would the best version of you do with money?”

    I laid it out:

    • I’ve built multiple income streams.
    • I net around $10k/month.
    • I give to church and causes.
    • I automate investments.

    And yet—I had no runway. That’s where the gap was.

    Then came health.

    I said I walk 10,000 steps a day. I train. I eat high protein, low carb. I pray, breathe, and reflect when I’m anxious. But when chaos hits?

    “I break my diet. Then my boundaries. Then my fitness.”

    That was a gut punch. But it was real. And that truth mattered.

    It reminded me: if I want to perform under pressure, I must strain when things are calm. I’m training for purpose, not performance. Fitness is spiritual.

    And then we got to purpose.

    I explained that I build systems that make things more efficient and help people. I create communities. I write. I consult. I make content. But ChatGPT pressed again:

    “What kingdom dies if you stay silent?”

    That shook me.

    I realized: I help business owners, ecommerce leaders, and people stuck in careers or relationships. I create spaces where people feel seen and heard. I’m the tide that raises all boats.

    And then came the dagger:

    “Where are you playing small?”

    I confessed: I dilute my message. I play around on social media, hiding the real work behind entertainment. I spread myself across channels to stay safe, not great. I’ve been fragmenting my power.

    From there, I declared what I refuse to do anymore:

    • I refuse to be afraid of the internet’s opinions.
    • I refuse to numb out and self-sabotage.
    • I refuse to pretend I’m not built to lead.

    And I remembered the code I’ve lived by, but never written out:

    The Douglas Accords: I will continue to be me even when no one is watching. I will continue to build even when no one is clapping. I will continue to connect even if I never get reciprocation. Because I am a lover, a fighter, a businessman, and a creative.

    Finally, ChatGPT asked:

    “If you stepped into that version of yourself today—how would you walk, speak, think, decide, and love differently?”

    And I answered:

    • I would sit up straight.
    • I would work with intention.
    • I would use my time wisely.
    • I would build systems and habits that serve me.
    • I would be a good steward.
    • I would love deeply, forgive completely, focus on the present, and move forward with intention.

    This wasn’t a chat. It was a personal revival.

    So I’m sharing it here, not as a proclamation of achievement, but as a line in the sand.

    The Douglas Accords are my declaration. This is how I live now.

    Because the world doesn’t need more content. It needs more men who know who they are.

    And I do.

    I am Erich Douglas Stauffer. And I’m showing up with everything I’ve got.

    Summary: The Best Version of Erich

    Relationships

    • Anchored in truth, not ego.
    • Leads with presence. Speaks with clarity.
    • Shows up consistent—behind doors and in the open.

    Finances

    • Diversified. Disciplined. Strategic.
    • Builds runway and automates growth.
    • Gives with joy and intention.

    Health

    • Trains like a warrior preparing for battle.
    • Treats the body as sacred, not ornamental.
    • Spiritual habits are non-negotiable.

    Purpose / Work

    • Builds systems that transform people and businesses.
    • Speaks with authority. Creates for impact.
    • Refuses to fragment focus or play small.

    Core Beliefs & Disciplines

    • Follows the Douglas Accords.
    • Chooses action over applause.
    • Practices stewardship in secret.

    My 5 “I Am” Mantras

    1. I am a grounded, loving leader who speaks truth and shows up with unwavering presence.
    2. I am a powerful creator of value, building wealth with strategy, purpose, and generosity.
    3. I am a disciplined steward of my body, emotions, and spirit—trained for trials, prepared for peace.
    4. I am a system builder and visionary who multiplies impact through structure and service.
    5. I am Erich Douglas Stauffer—lover, fighter, businessman, and creative—living my calling out loud.

    Learn how I’m helping others live epic lives @4YearU.

  • Underutilized Me

    I work 8-5 and do IT support and web design nights and weekends. My wife sells essential oils and makes soap for Skinny Coconut Oil. We have 5 kids. I go to church 2 times a week. I have an hour commute.

    There’s just not a whole lot going on.

    I’m underutilized. There are whole evenings where no one has any work for me to do. There are no meetings to attend. I spend entire Saturdays and entire Sunday afternoons with no work requests. So what do I do?

    I rest. I meet with friends. I read articles on the Internet. I make videos. I tweet. I update my website. I go for a walk. There is still more time. There is a ton of time. I take the kids to the park. I read to them. Still more time.

    There have been times in my life where I’ve felt overwhelmed or underwater. But even in these times, with a little bit of diligence and perspective, the short periods were not as bad as I originally thought. It was okay.

    In January of 2012 I wrote, Problem Solver Seeks More Things to Fix, which I later regretted when hard problems began to present themselves (be careful what you ask for). But that’s essentially what I’m doing now.

    The world is apparently changing exponentially, but the news seems slower than ever. We are living in amazing times, so why do I feel bored? Why do I just want to throw rocks in the creek and climb a hill?

    Do I need more purpose in my life? Do I need more goals? How do I determine success? What do I want? Maybe I’m being too introspective and I’m asking the wrong questions. Maybe I should look outward more.

    Who can I help more? How can I start thinking more about other people’s needs, rather than my own? How can I seek to add more value to the world than the value I take from it? What I can I do to get started?

    In order to reach my next goal of earning $20,000 a month, I’m aiming to create $200,000 a month in value to the world (or $2.4 million in value per year). This changes how I think about the problem I’m solving.

    I don’t know how I’m going to get there, but I’m going to document the process so you can follow along with me. I’ve heard that if I ‘take massive action’ or even if I ‘work a little bit every day’ I’ll get there. We’ll see.

  • 10,000 Hours

    Have you ever heard that it takes “10,000 hours” to become good at something or that you should “follow your passion” and “do what you love”? If you’re still wondering What Color is Your Parachute? and you still don’t know what you want to be when you grow up, it may be time to take stock of your current skillsets and strengths to see how close you are to being an expert and whether or not that field is a vehicle that can economically provide a reliable income into your future.

    In 2013, Cal Newport wrote Don’t Follow Your Passion, Follow Your Effort, where he talked about how becoming an expert in something makes you passionate about it, not the other way around. But what if you could have both? In 2001, Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton wrote a book called Now, Discover Your Strengths and developed a test called the Clifton Strengths Finder to help you identify your strengths. What if there was a way to test for your “10,000 hours”?

    Becoming an expert at something doesn’t mean it’s the only thing you’ve worked on for the last 5-10 years. The accumulation of all of your experiences has led you to the position you’re in today. There is no one else who has had the exact same experience as you. No one else has the exact same perspective as you. There is already something you are an expert in that you can do better than anyone else in your area, if not the world. This experience is your “10,000 hours.”

    What do you do that's better than anyone else?
    What do you do that’s better than anyone else?

    Andy Johns, who was on the user growth team for Facebook, Twitter and Quora, recently wrote about Finding Your Career Economy, in which he says, “Everyone has their inherent strengths and weaknesses. I’m of the camp that believes that people should focus most on playing to their strengths and to align their strengths with a role that requires them to use their strengths regularly.” Shortly thereafter he spoke on Eric Siu’s Growth Everywhere podcast something similar:

    When I thought about my career, the mental model I used was an economics one. Where I thought that, “If I go and try and learn be a developer at this point and try and write code just as good as some of the Facebook developers,” like – just a huge fail, it just wasn’t going to happen. And frankly I just wasn’t interested in that. I didn’t think that’s where my heart was, nor was it where my sort of intrinsic abilities were.

    Instead I was like, “Well I’ve got to find this thing that I’m interested in that aligns with my strengths, but that also has an economy around it in the sense that someday there is going to be tremendous demand for this skillset – with very little real supply of that – and I wanna own that supply. That’s a position of leverage.

    For me the thing that I settled on – the position of leverage that made the most sense for my future potential – was “How can I be one of the best people on the planet in terms of understanding end-to-end, comprehensively from either one million to a billion users, ‘How do you grow something?’” – team building, analytics, experimentation, organization…the whole thing.

    That seemed like a tremendously powerful thing because the thesis or the hypothesis I had was that: more consumer Internet companies needed to have growth teams and no one was stepping up to the plate to do that. That’s what I wanted to do…and that’s been my sole objective since then – since I made up my mind about that in 2009.

    One thing I’ve noticed from listening to over 600 hours of business podcasts is that a lot of the people who are successful now started in 2009. It took them about 5 years to get from “go” to “grow” to “show”. Coincidentally, people work about 2000 hours a year so 5 years is about 10,000 hours. I read the same business books these guys listened to. I started blogs the same time they did, but somehow the result was different? Why was my 10,000 hours different than theirs? Because the vehicle I chose was different.

    The choices we make in life matter. Life is a game and not everybody wins, but everyone who can keep moving forward is capable of learning from their mistakes and doing better the next time. This is what startup culture calls “failing forward” and what normal people call “persistence” or “grit”. Those who are able to leverage their experience, focus on their strengths, and continue to improve will see return on their investments provided they select an economic vehicle capable of sustaining that activity.

     

  • The Value of Conferences and Trade Shows

    Mike McDerment, the founder of Freshbooks, recently wrote a post titled How I Earned A Lot More on Projects by Changing My Pricing Strategy in which he talks about how he used to be a web designer (only) and it was his frustration with invoicing that moved him to create Freshbooks, which is online accounting and invoicing software for small business owners. McDerment recently released a free ebook that is similar to the Brennan Dunn’s Double Your Freelancing Rate book called, Breaking the Time Barrier: How to Unlock Your True Earning Potential. McDerment will be speaking in Indianapolis at MixWest (formerly Blog Indiana) August 7-9th, 2013, which reminded me of the value of conferences and trade shows to your business.

    I last attended Blog Indiana in 2011 and have since wrote about it in My Local Heroes, Mesh Networking, and Networking Indianapolis. It’s also how I know most of the people I now know on Twitter. In other words, it was very impactful to me and part of the reason I decided to attend The Combine that same year in Bloomington, Indiana. People I met at Blog Indiana and The Combine I later ran into at Verge in Indianapolis, at the Lean Startup Circle, and at Agile Indy. I was starting to be a part of a community of like-minded individuals, which has intrinsic value.

    Vishen Lakhiani, founder of Mind Valley, talks about how attending conferences changed his company and allowed it to grow. Pat Flynn, owner of Smart Passive Income, talks about how he met one of his best friends and business partners at a conference. In Terry Lin’s Build My Online Store podcast #45, Matt Kowalak talks about how attending trade shows is a critical part of the marketing of his business.
    The bottom line is that while it can cost a lot of money to go to conferences, there is a lot of value in going to conferences. Surrounding yourself with like-minded people is powerful, and it can change your business. For encouragement, collaboriation, or learning from others who have paved the way before you, meetups, conferences, and tradeshows can help you become a success.

    Know you can succeed, and you will.

  • Anyone Can Take a Reservation

    One thing I keep hearing from programmers and product owners is that the most important thing (or the hardest thing) is marketing and sales of their product. And to that I say, you have to have a product to market and that’s the hardest part is figuring out what people want, making it, and getting feedback on it. I guess you need both.

    When I worked at banks, one of the things I heard over and over was that “Retail can’t work without Operations and Operations can’t work without Retail.” They both needed each other. Can your lungs say to your heart, “I’m better than you.” It could, but it still needs the heart. While the brain thinks it knows everything, it can’t get around without the rest of it’s body.

    Clearing the Cruft

    I’m continually amazed by how little you have to do “right” to be successful in business. You do have to do some things right, but you can still do so much wrong and still succeed. This creates a filter for me, one that highlights what actually matters, not just what I think matters. Here’s what matters: giving people what they want, making sure those people can find it, and charging them for it.

    I sent this as a text message to a couple of people and got a couple of different responses:

    Spoken like a man who has seen the last domino in his master plan be set up – ready to fall.

    The key word is do. You have to do it. Yes you may stumble several times, but if you keep on the road it works out.

    The latter one echoes thoughts I’ve had in the past about work. Anyone can take a reservation, it’s the holding that’s most important.

  • Presentation Secrets from Amish Shah

    “Some people have the uncanny ability to make more in a week than most will earn over a lifetime. What’s better, they do it all the time. Amish Shah is one of those people.” Below is a screenshot of his presentation secrets, which I have outlined below. Click the image to watch the full video from Mindvalley Insights.

    Presentation Secrets

    Presentation Secrets

    • You are not the hero, the audience is.
    • It’s not about just you. It should be a shared belief.
    • Tell Stories because it conveys meaning.
    • Facts don’t sell. Emotions do.
    • Stand out.
    • Be human and stay connected.
    • Talk to the audience personally.
    • You are the mentor.
    • Help the audience get “unstuck”.
    • Come from a place of humility and be selfless.
    • Combine two things: Facts and Stories.
      • Stories provide an experience.
      • Facts provide information.
    • First create the desire in the audience and then fill it.
    • Formula
      • Intro and unfulfilled desire – Relatable Hero
      • Presents dramatic actions held together by confrontation. Obstacle for the character – Roadblocks
      • Resolution – Transformation
    • Audience needs to change internally and follow you.

    This is similar to the advice Mimi Henderlong of Threadless gives about “telling a story about someone who works at your company and make your customer the hero.” In the following video Amish explains the basics behind his record-breaking launches, his tried and tested theory on how to humanize your work, and how to overcome the single biggest hurdle that all affiliate marketers face – credibility.

  • Balls of Steel

    In response to marketing and distribution device about product development:

    Sometimes you just have to write something, make a decision, just do something before the true answer will come to you. That’s how it is with me at least. A lot of times I won’t know what to do so I’ll just choose something and then it’s like the fog lifts and everything becomes clear. A lot of the time my first choice is wrong, but if I didn’t make it I wouldn’t have been able to know the right choice. In a small way that’s what happened after I emailed you last. I almost immediatly knew how I wanted to help you.

    I’m starting an online store for coffee and tea accessories called pourjoy.com and would like to sell your steel balls as an accessory for making non-diluted ice coffee. I wouldn’t call it Balls of Steel though. I’d have to call it something else like “liquid metal” or “iced beans”. I’d see if your mom could buy like ten sets of them from you for me to sell in my store and that would be a good market test and potential new distribution channel for you. What I’d encourage you to do is to find ways to sell the same product as many different ways as you can.

    Think about the movie The Hudsucker Proxy and how the circle is used first as a hoola hoop and then as a straw. If you haven’t seen it then Coca Cola is a better example. They sell you the same coke in a bottle, can, and by fountain drink. Mmmm. I’m getting thirsty just thinking about it. For your product I can see it being sold as ying yang balls, stress balls, desk toys, marble run accessories, a game of some sort, a drinking game, as a way to move large furniture, or as a way to shatter large panes of glass.

    If you really want to sell a lot of these you’ll need to both have market demand and either large barriers between you and your competition or a huge head start. If you haven’t read how Warren Buffet picks companies, it’s very similar. He would want to know how hard it is for someone to make what you have or do what you do. He would want to see patents and large capital costs that make a virtual moat around your product protecting its business model for years to come. I guess I don’t see that with your product.

    Have you considered getting into ecommerce or affiliate marketing instead of manufacturing? You know what ecommerce is, but you may not know about affiliate marketing so here’s a brief primer. Using Amazon.com as an example, anything I link to at Amazon with my code I get a percentage of if someone buys it. Percents range from 6-8% on average. With ecommerce the margins are higher, but so is the risk when inventory is involved. Some of that risk can be mitigated with drop shipping services, but the margins are lower.

    I know I want to get into ecommerce and so I am leveraging my background and experience in affiliate marketing, SEO, and web design to learn ecommerce and make a go of it. I’d be happy to share with you what I’m learning and catch up with you in December when you’re in town. Your mom says you’re making a lot of money waiting tables down there and that you’re doing good in school. I know she’s really proud of you and wants to see you succeed and I do too.

  • Things have changed. Times are different.

    Business owners used to be able to pay the Yellow Pages once per year and get business all year long without having to do anything.
    Things have changed. Times are different.
    You now have to do content marketing, social media marketing, traditional marketing.
    Social media is complicated:

    http://www.businessinsider.com/social-media-marketing-landscape-complicated-2012-5