Erich Stauffer

Category: Pop Culture

  • LOST: From James Ford to Sawyer

    One of the easiest mysteries to solve on the pilot episode of LOST, was the question as to who would be “the bad guy” or “the outsider” in the group.  Josh Holloway‘s brooding looks and sneers of disgust when asked to help made it clear to the audience, that this guy, “Sawyer”, was not going to win any congeniality awards.  Whether it was his dimples, his sense of humor, or women’s tendency to be attracted to bad boys, the audience began to root for Sawyer.  Even fellow actor Jorge Reyes’ mother was more worried about Sawyer being killed off of the show than her own son.  Whether we loved to hate him, or loved him in spite of his shortcomings, he was loved.  Now, about those shortcomings….

    His name isn’t really “Sawyer”.  Through flashback, we learn that Sawyer’s parents died when he was just a boy.  His father shot his mother in the next room, and then horrifically, shot himself on a bed that the young boy was hiding under.  In a way we do not yet know, the boy found out who was responsible for scamming his parents out of their savings, leading to the murder/suicide of his parents.  This man went by the alias, “Sawyer”.  Our island survivor’s real name was James Ford.  Little James Ford thought of little else than finding the man responsible, and doling out justice for the loss of his parents.  Writing a letter to read to Sawyer just before killing him, James Ford was focused on revenge.

    Now, even as a young boy, James Ford could identify that what had happened to his family was wrong.  While Sawyer had not pulled the trigger, his scamming left the blood on his hands.  Why oh why, did James Ford end up growing up to become just like him?  Not just in taking his name, but in taking up scamming people out of their savings, just like the man he had hated for most of his life.  The simple answer may refer to a principle of cognitive psychology:  We move towards, and become like, that which we think about.  Our thoughts, whether they are lifting something up or tearing it down, get imprinted into our subconscious.

    This is also similar to Jack not wanting to become an alcoholic like his father, and by thinking so much about it, brought it into reality.  Mr. Eko’s thoughts of his brother as a priest eventually led him to become a legitimate man of God.  There are many elements of LOST that testify to this truth.

    As James Ford becomes Sawyer, he doesn’t even believe that he has any choice to be anything else.  “A tiger doesn’t change it’s stripes.” he tells Kate after a scheme to take all of the guns in the camp has commenced.  Only after he has killed the real Sawyer, and completed his task, is he free to let his thoughts move on.  The island gives him an opportunity to be a man of love and a man of leadership.  This new goal changes his thought patterns, and his behavior follows.

    What are you thinking about most of the time?  Do you see your actions as a result of your thought patterns?  Changing your life is as simple as changing your mind, but changing your mind takes the right kind of fuel.  Garbage in, garbage out.  What are you reading?  Who are you talking with?  What do you talk about?  If you are fixated on what you despise or hate…. be careful.  You just may turn into that same thing.

  • The Gristmill at Spring Mill State Park

    This is a guest post written by Zac Parsons:

    On June 22, 2009, Erich and I decided to meet in person to do some hiking, planning, and bonding at Spring Mill State Park in Mitchell, IN.  It was also Erich’s birthday, the second official day of summer, and a beautiful day to be outside.  By the end of the day, we realized that our experience itself was actually interesting enough to write about (and hopefully interesting enough to read).  We decided to write about our accounts separately, to see where our perceptions of the same days events would take us.  What would I write about?  What was meaningful and impactful to him?  Where would we be similar?  Where would we differ?  Erich’s thoughts, (which I have not read, at the time of this writing) can be found here.

    We grabbed a map, and headed out on the trail closest to where we had parked.  As we walked and talked about the future of our business, we crossed a bridge over a muddy river.

    We mused over what could have caused it to become so dirty, and  never really came to a conclusion.  What we did conclude was that in order for the river to become clean again, the dirty water would have to run its course.  If we were to dam up the river, then we would have a dirty lake.  Not much of a solution if we got thirsty (which we were starting to).  It was an interesting object lesson for us on the messes of life that we find ourselves in.  Even when we decide that the water is dirty, we have to let life keep running while we allow the clean water to slowly come back in and take over.

    Continuing on down the trail, and continuing with our conversation, we eventually found ourselves in the middle of an early 19th century village, restored and preserved for visitors like us to observe and explore.  It was a welcome surprise for me, as I just expected trees, rivers, and trails like in the picture above.  There was an old school house, sawmill, leather mill, tavern, pottery shop, and more.  In the middle of it, we came across a huge water wheel next to a three story building.  Erich wondered how long it had been since the wheel was in operation.  Well, we were about to find out.

    httpvhd://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NgHaWvm86c

    Watching the man slide the cog into the system was fascinating.  Not the physical act itself, but just realization that this huge machine absolutely depended on this small piece in order to function properly, if at all.  The power of the water was being used to grind corn into meal for the rest of the village.  If the little cog broke down, the people wouldn’t starve, but they would have had to work harder for their corn meal.  I immediately applied it to other situations in my life and business where things were not optimal.

    It’s a question that we all have to deal with:  Is there a piece damaged or mission, or is the entire system broken?  Sometimes, we make huge changes in our lives, and we throw out a system that seems to be broken.  Often it is just a cog, or a gear that needs to be tweaked or replaced, and not the whole thing.  You may have heard this being called “throwing the baby out with the bathwater”.  Just because you have identified a problem, does not mean that that problem is systemic.  Look closely at the gears, cogs, pulleys, levers, and tools you use in your life.  Your thoughts, habits, experiences, expectations, beliefs, relationships, attitudes, etc.  Perhaps more attention being paid to just one of these “cogs” count significantly change your system, whether it is your life, or your business.

    Erich and I continued discussing the gristmill as we hiked around the park.  We saw an astronaut memorial, some caves, a graveyard, and got a nice little workout in the process.  My relationship with Erich was good before.  We email constantly, comment on each other’s articles, and speak on the phone.  But, this face to face meeting added a new dimension to our relationship (system), bringing in new pulleys and sinews that connect us.  Everything is a system.  Everything is a balancing act.  Everything has a tipping point.  By the end, we relaxed with some Cherry Coke Zero and let our bodies recuperate.  It’s all a part of the system.

  • Can’t land a new job? Maybe he’s just not that into you.

    Last night, I finally watched New Line Cinema’s movie:  “He’s Just Not That Into You”.  It was released on DVD and Blu-Ray on June 2, 2009.  The movie was recommended to me by my ex-wife, commenting that there was a character in the film that reminded her of me.  Since you just read the “ex” in front of “wife” in the previous sentence, you probably understand why I was intrigued to find out which of these characters was so similar to me, and if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

    The movie contains a fairly notable cast, with Jennifer Anniston, Jennifer Connelly, Ben Affleck, Drew Barrymoore, Bradley Cooper, and Scarlett Johansson all a part of the ensemble cast.  The main thrust of the movie is this:  when signs seem to be pointing towards something negative, are you the exception, or the rule?  The answer to a question like:  “Why won’t this guy return my phone calls?” may be:  “He’s just not that into you.”  When things seem to line up favorably in your mind, are you operating in the hopes of being “the exception” or “the rule”?  Most people would agree that if somebody wants somebody else in some way, that they will do something about it.  Doing little or doing nothing seems to prove a lack of interest (in most cases).

    In light of our economic recession, which may last for many more months or even years, many of us are looking into career changes.  Some by choice, others by necessity.  Most people currently employed would be wise to dust off their resume, as the layoff bug has bitten many different industries, and some without warning.  People are reevaluating what is important to them in a career.  Is it stability?  Personal fulfillment?  Financial gain?  Something else?  What seems clear to me, is that the people who will succeed through this recession, are the ones who know what they want.

    Now, what does this romantic comedy have to do with business and vocational success?  To me, they both underscore the importance of DESIRE.  It may not matter what makes sense on paper, or if you have all of the qualifications that a job requires.  If an employer can’t see that you WANT the job, they aren’t going to hire you, unless nobody else wants the job, and then you would become the exception to the rule.  If you hit an employer with your resume and do nothing else, you may never find out how many other resumes were received, or even if yours was received.  A follow up phone call, email, or professional letter shows desire, and you will be noticed.

    But, the same is true on the employer’s side.  You have to be wanted back.  You must be attractive to your prospective employer.  If you know of a company’s specific needs, then tailor your resume to show how YOU are the solution.  Even with your best efforts, you sometimes just have to let a potential job go.  If a job you seek is filled, but you feel that you put your best foot forward, a follow up call to the hiring manager to ask for interview feedback could be the valuable information that leads you to become a better interviewer and helps you land that job.  Try not to take it personally if you put yourself out there, just to find… he’s just not that into you.

  • The Birth of a Neighborhood

    This is a guest post by Zac Parsons. Enjoy. – Erich

    About a year and a half of an earlier stage in my life was spent in the industry of new home sales.  My experience in ministry didn’t pan out as I would have hoped.  I still found myself in a position to want to help people, but not with all of the political red tape of working in a church.  Since owning one’s own home is seemingly part of the American Dream, being a part of the that dream fulfillment was very attractive to me.

    I began as a temp.  A temp is someone who fills in for a full time new home sale associate on one of his or her days off.  It wasn’t good money, but it gave me experience and allowed me to meet people within the new home industry.  I was able to travel around the area, and learn what I liked and did not like about new home sales and the career path of a new home salesperson.  Ultimately, it led me to a builder who was building a community less than a mile from the high school that I graduated from.  After temping with the builder for a month, I was interviewed, tested, and ultimately offered a position as a full time floater for the company.  Now, I would exclusively temp for this builder at all of their locations around town.

    After a few months, I discovered that a position would be opening for a new community, just a mile away from where I had first met this builder.  It was a farm that was near to the area in which I had grown up.  I lobbied and applied for the position, and was thrilled when I was given the opportunity to sell homes for this neighborhood exclusively.

    I had a sales partner, who had her own clients.  Because of the length of time it takes to build a house, I got to know all of her clients as well.  I answered their questions, demonstrated the features of their new home, and painted a picture of what the community would be like when it was no longer just dirt.  It was a challenge at times to find the right way to describe what the neighborhood would look like.  Some people wanted to perfectly manicured lawns.  Other people wanted to see the streetlights lit up at night.  Everyone loved the idea of people outside, knowing their neighbors, and using the playground and park area.

    As the months went by, homeowners would stop back in to check on the progress of the lots sold, the plans for the development of the common areas, and the prices of the homes.  Unfortunately, with our economic situation, it hurt for them to see the prices drop again and again.  It hurt me as well, because I was with them on the journey to fulfill the American Dream.  These homes were supposed to be investments.  They were supposed to provide a base to grow from.  I felt like I was a part of the sadness that they felt.  I was one who advised them of making the decision to purchase.  I wondered what they thought of me, in all of it.  I wondered if they regretted their decision, since the community was still mostly a construction zone, and their homes were worth so much less than what they had paid for them.

    About 6 months ago, I left that position, to pursue a career in psychological growth education.  During that time, one of my home buyers mailed me an invitation to attend their engagement part at their new home.  I hadn’t been back to the community in that time, and didn’t know what to expect.  As I pulled into the neighborhood last Saturday, I could hardly believe my eyes.  There were at least a dozen new homes started, where there had been dirt before.  The grass in the common areas was completed.  Three of the streets were completely finished and occupied.  It was amazing.

    I could not find a place to park on the street, so I circled around behind.  As I was driving by, one of the young couples that I had sold a home to was standing outside with their dog.  I stopped my car, rolled down my window, and gave them a friendly:  “Howdy!”  Their faces lit up and they practically bounded towards my car to greet me.  They were extremely happy with their neighborhood, their new neighbors, and the fact that they were a part of something at it’s beginning.  The financial implications of buying a home when they did, did not temper their goodwill towards me.  We exchanged phone numbers and email addresses, and I felt great about the good fortune of running into them.

    I ended up parking on the other side of the neighborhood, where I knew every one of the homeowners.  As i walked down the street, I remembered putting SOLD stickers on the signs in what was a dirt lot with each different family.  I imagined them living in their homes, eating their meals, playing together, and feeling safe.  As I rounded the corner near the playground, I heard children shouting and playing.  About 20 kids were engrossed in a game of kickball, barely being able to see in the twilight of the evening.  Some parents were talking on nearby benches, peacefully enjoying the weather and the community.

    At the party, I was greated with hugs and words of genuine appreciation for my role in helping them build their home.  They spoke of how much it felt like a community now, and how happy they were to have such a place of their own.  I didn’t stay long, but I thanked them for inviting me and gave them a small gift.

    There are so many things in life that you cannot see for what they are until to take time to step away from them.  On some level, I knew that I was a part of building a community, but when I was frustrated by slow sales, dropping prices, or other dramas of the industry, I lost that vision.  There was not one moment of the dirt becoming a community.  It was dozens and dozens of moments, many of which I was not in control of.  This is how life functions.  Where you are now is not exactly where you will be one year from now.  Growth will occur.  It is up to you how much you will be a part of that growth, and in which direction it will occur.

  • LOST: The Evolution of Jack Shephard: Part 2

    From a “Man of Science” to a “Man of Faith”, Jack Shephard has ridden the pendulum for a full turn.  After competing the greatest task of his life, leading the survivors of Flight 815 to rescue, he is a man without an identity.  No longer do people look to him for his potential, they just look to him and define him by his past.  By what he has done.  By what did happen to him.  Having his identity tied up in his actions lead him to question what he had left to live for in the future, much less… the present.

    But then, a strange thing happens… he starts to think differently.  Jack wonders about Locke’s claims of destiny and providence.  He wonders if he has not mistakenly taken himself off course of a path that is much bigger than him.  Jack’s identity begins to change.  With no hope for his currently life, he changes directions, and begins to follow the opportunities laid in front of him.  Sometimes it is with passion and purpose, and other times he is simply resigned to let fate run its course.  It is nearly 180 degrees different from the Jack we first met who would barely even sleep if there was work to be done around him.

    So, as season 5 ended recently, and with only the final season remaining, where is Jack left to go?  Will he find balance somewhere in the middle?  Is it possible to be bound by fate, and still control your destiny with managing your own actions?  Will Jack ever find the answer to having a sustained, happy life?

  • The Last Ride of the Roller Blades

    Last night, an era ended. Maybe a decade too late, but my roller blades were not just out of style, but now, out of commission. A friend and I thought that it would be healthy to get out and exercise in the warm Arizona sun. She brought her roller blades over and talked about how long it had been since she had used them. 5 years? 10 years? Friends was still on the air that time, but that doesn’t narrow it down much.

    Regardless, she wasn’t sure how fast she would be and asked me to take it easy on her. As I glided backwards on the asphalt, showing my deft ability on said blades, I promised her that I would not race off ahead and leave her in my dust. In a different way that I meant it…. I was right.

    As we turned down the first street, I realized that my bearings had less grease than John Travolta’s IMDB page. Cause for alarm? Maybe to someone unskilled in the ways of the roller blade, but I was confident that I could overcome the extra friction with a little more effort and sweat on my part. I was sort of right. My friend zipped right past me with little effort at all. She looked back at me at every corner like a child would look back at a slow pedaling parent on a bike ride. I just kept plugging along, with lots of effort, and little speed and grace to show for it.

    After about a mile, I decided to sit down and examine my wheels directly. They did not look good.

    The wheels were actually hot to the touch. I nearly burned myself trying to roll them. On closer examination, the rubber on the wheels had actually begun to disintegrate!

    It wasn’t the lack of grease in my bearings at all! The straps were still functioning fine. Even the trendy “Bladerunner” brand could still be seen on the side. But this one piece of my equipment failing was enough to put me out of commission for the day, and possibly for my career.

    Have you ever felt like you are putting a great amount of effort into moving forward, you feel the energy being used up, but you aren’t making nearly the progress that you thought you would? Sometimes it can just be one thing that keeps you from moving forward and free-flowing the way that you see those around you doing it, or better. Have you taken the time to look at the inventory of your life and see if one piece is missing or damaged? Success can be that fickle…. or that close to attainment.

    For me, I won’t be blading anymore until I get the right wheels. Or maybe I should just figure out a more relevant way to exercise with speed. Any suggestions?

  • LOST: The evolution of Jack Shephard part 1

    We all know that life imitates art and art imitates life.  I am fascinated by almost all of the characters on LOST, but for me, the most complicated and interesting survivor of Flight 815 is Jack Shephard.  My spell checker tells me that this is not the correct way to spell “shepherd”.  Perhaps the creators of lost intentionally wanted “hard” to be a part of his name.  After nearly five seasons of the story unfolding, we have seen many times where Jack experiences something…. “hard”.

    The linear storyline that begins at the plane crash paints Jack as a hero and a leader right away.  Someone who takes charge and makes decisions.  A man of action.  (On a side note, it’s an interesting play on words of our site here:  man + aging + actions.)  Nobody takes a vote, but Jack is obviously the de facto leader.

    Through flashbacks, we learn how Jack has become a successful spinal surgeon.  By watching and shadowing his father, he takes on what he believes is valuable in his father, while trying to reject his father’s “weaknesses”, namely alcoholism.  Jack has a very systematic approach to growth and life.  Everything is fixable.  He sees the pieces that make up a person, or a situation, and attacks or rejects those pieces that seem bad.  In this way, he is making the WHOLE person or situation…better.

    Oddly, it is his greatest surgical triumph that leads him to a romantic relationship and marriage.  His problem with fixing Sarah, though, is that he cannot understand what he did to fix her.  She believes that he fixed her, and adores him for it.  Jack does not believe in miracles, so he does not know how to explain how she was healed.  He continues his role of “fixer” in their relationship, until there is seemingly nothing left to fix.  Their relationship peaked at its genesis.  After a few years, Jack kisses another woman and quickly confesses it to his wife, along with promises to fix their relationship, be more present with her, be a better man, etc.  But for Sarah, it is too late.  The relationship ends.

    Jack’s ability to compartmentalize things does serve him well on the island.  When he gets scared, counting to five allows him to focus in on his task and block out everything in the way of that task.  When something needs to get done, Jack does it, or finds somebody else that will.  He has the largest impact on the group as a whole, based on his actions.  Jack thrives on problems, because they give him a chance to offer solutions and execute his plan.  In life, this is particularly important, because not many people believe that a world without problems is right around the corner.

    If you can define your task, focus, and complete it, you will succeed in many things.  BUT, if you let your ability to accomplish tasks define WHO YOU ARE, then disappointment, sadness, and frustration are inevitable.  My friend Ric McClain often said that we are “human beings” not “human doings”.  It seems that Jack fell into a trap of letting his actions define who he IS.  It leads him to accomplish the main task of the survivors…getting off of the island.  What joy does this leave him with though?  An addiction to alcohol and prescription drugs.  Instead of being a leader of society, he is now a borderline sociopath.  There are no tasks to complete as big as the ones he has already completed.  His identity and foundation are shaken.

    In part 2, I would like to share my thoughts on Jack’s low point: staring down off of a bridge, contemplating ending his life with a jump.  Until then, please leave any comments about  your thoughts on Jack’s journey, or the struggle to be defined by your actions.

  • Release

    Erich wrote an amazing article about taking advantage of this economic situation of a lifetime, and it really got my wheels going.  Pun intended.  It’s funny how the world works for us some time.  He happened to mention a quote from the Richard Donner movie, “The Goonies”.  Why did he have the Goonies on his mind?  I don’t know.  But earlier in the day, I happened to be driving up the Oregon Coast on the way to a seminar, and I stopped by Cannon Beach, where much of the movie was filmed.  In fact, I took this picture of the HUGE rock that the pirate ship sails out of in the end of the film.

    Haystack Rock in Cannon Beach, OR
    Haystack Rock in Cannon Beach, OR

    It was kind of cool to me that Erich and I were thinking about the same movie at the same time, without ever talking to each other about it.  It’s almost as if sometimes there is something beyond our five senses that we connect with.  Some may call it a sixth sense, others might call it God, sci-fi geeks may call it “the force”, etc., but its happened to me enough times, that I am beginning to really believe in it.

    I was visiting my children this week with my mother (their grandmother, natch) and I noticed how much she was concerned about the timing of everything that we did during our air travel.  When it was time to board the airplane (Southwest Airlines, cattle-call style) she was very concerned about making sure that we got on board as soon as possible, in order to get the best seat.  I told her that it would be ok and that we should not stress out about it and trust that the line would move at the right pace and that we would find the perfect seats when it was our turn.  She still hurried ahead and was able to get an aisle seat like she wanted.  But when the plane was done boarding, we looked around and saw many aisle seats still remained open, as the flight was not full.  Something told me that we would be ok to wait at this point.  This happened a few different times on our trip.

    Now, I know that this site is called Managing Actions, but what do you do when you have managed your actions to their limit?  Sometimes, you can do everything right, and the plane gets delayed, the company cuts your job, you slip on a banana peel, etc.  There are something in life that you just cannot manage completely.  It is in these moments that we need to let go.  There are mechanisms and systems in place in the world that will catch you.  There is a balance between managing our actions and flowing with the world that is managing itself around us.

    Just as I was leaving Cannon Beach, I noticed a marble block that had something carved into it.  I came closer to examine it.  I took a couple of pictures.

    Release
    Release
    Release Sign
    Release Sign

    Getting back to Erich’s article making my wheels spin, I love the way that this piece captures the struggle for us to let go of what we have always known.  The world is changing around us.  If we hang on to that old world for too long, soon we will be grasping dust.  If an opportunity presents itself, you have to first let go of your current reality in order to grab hold of the new one.  Even if you have a great system for managing your actions, you may have to let go of a few things in order to experience something greater.  Believe, trust, and release.

    At the end of my visit with my kids yesterday, as my mother and I enjoyed arriving 30 minutes early to our destination in Phoenix, we both laughed as our bags were the first ones out of the baggage chute.  It had been one of those trips where everything fell right into place.  We let go of our stress and worry and let “something” take care of the things that we couldn’t take care of.  Now, because we were so early, we ended up waiting 40 minutes for my dad to pick us up from the curb.  So, I guess nothing is a perfect rule, but I am closer to believing that there is a larger flowing river going on around us.  Sometimes it is best to quit swimming upstream, and go with the flow for a while.

  • Why Is the Easter Bunny Smiling?

    I picked up a chocolate bunny at Cracker Barrel and noticed the smirk on its face.  What is it hiding? Does it even know its hollow inside? Or does it know that its sweet, creamy, and melt-in-your-mouth delicious.  Does it know that you will be five pounds heavier after eating it?  Or is it just the result of the mold maker, the designer at the factory or the man in the chair waving his mouse around Autocad clicking and typing in ALL CAPS as he be.

    What is the point of Easter, anyway? Is it to fill our baskets with things we shouldn’t? What is an easter egg hunt and what does it have to do with easter bunnies? Rabbits don’t lay eggs and eggs traditionally aren’t hollow inside like the chocolate bunny.  When did we get so far removed from the Easter story of Jesus of Nazareth sacrificing himself once for the sins of the many, only to defeat death and rise again.  Go ahead, Thomas, touch His wounds.  See how they are healed.  Now do you believe? Blessed are those who believe without touching, which is all of us, today, who believe in what Jesus did that weekend.